How to Make Money on the Stock Market

I firmly believe that everyone should invest their savings in the stock market, provided they have a watertight investment strategy that guarantees profits in both rising and falling market conditions. I’ve been using such a strategy for the past 30 years, and it’s seen me through two major recessions without a single year of losses. I assume this is something you would like to emulate, so let’s talk about how you can do it.

  1. You’re going to need a watertight investment strategy. You could spend years researching markets, studying economics, analysing data, and so on, and in fact you should, because it’s impossible to develop a watertight investment strategy without that information.
  2. Avoid supposed shortcuts like adopting the same strategy as a self-proclaimed “expert” or “guru”, since no one with a watertight investment strategy is going to share it around. I know it’s the last thing I’m going to do. It’s not that I’m selfish, it’s just that any watertight investment strategy will become less effective if it’s adopted by a huge number of other investors. If you don’t understand why, see step 1.
  3. Don’t try to reverse engineer my investment strategy. What little information you manage to find online will almost certainly be incorrect. You’re much better off working from first principles, provided you have the intelligence, education and time required to develop a watertight investment strategy.
  4. My house is totally off limits, especially the documents in the filing cabinet in the upstairs study. Similarly, if I ever leave my laptop at a hotel or cafe, DO NOT open it.
  5. I cannot overemphasise the importance of step 4. Any system that guarantees profits in both rising and falling market conditions involves some degree of betting against your fellow investors. If my system were to become public, I’d effectively be playing poker with my cards face up on the table. In case you didn’t realise, that’s a dumb way to play poker.
  6. If you’ve followed steps 1 through 5, you should have a watertight investment strategy that is entirely your own and not stolen from me in any way. Now all you need to do is implement it, and you will have guaranteed profits in both rising and falling market conditions.

Note: It is very important that your investment strategy is watertight, or you may end up losing money on the stock market, which is the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.