How to get JACKED!

Okay listen up, you wanna get JACKED? Not “big”, not “swole”, but well and truly JACKED? Im talking biceps so big you quads get jelous. Skin so tight and brown its like onion skin. Forearms so popped you litrally cant drink outta of a glass because your so strong you will smash it in your hands. If your answer is no then get outta here ur a waste of my time anyway ha ha. To da lifters that remain, its time to get things real.

Step 1. Figure out why you want to get JACKED. Competition coming up? Cool. Stereosonic on the horizon? Brother I no what u mean! Just wanna bang cute chicks? Dont we all ha ha. Have a goal will help you get JACKED when your mind tries to quit like a pussy, but dont worry if you dont have a goal its mainly just sumthing PTs say when their teaching you to squat on a fitball or some shit.

Step 2. Eat right. U thought I was going to start with lifitng? Haha. If you dont eat right there is litrally no point to lift! Make sure you have right nutrition 4 x chicken (Roasted) 2 x chicken (unroasted) 6 x kilograms x potatoes (however u like) 2 x lettuce for flavour HAHA just kidding lettuc is to fed to any skinny bitch try to steal your food (dont say I aint got your back ;)

Step 3. Lift right. You lift for awhile now so you got your fave exercise and thats great. But to get JACKED you need to take it to the next level. After every set, do the same exercise but BACKWARDS. What am I talking about? Lets take an example say you are doing bench press with dumbbells - once you finish your set put dumbbells on the floor like u doing a pushup and put the bench on your back like a turtle, and do pushups with the bench on your back. The first set (forwards) builds the muscle, the second set (backwards) shreds the fat. Why? to get you JACKED dummy! Look at the title of the article and stop asking stupid questions ;)

Step 4. Look after your balls. Jacking off more than 1x a day releases peratocyn which causes fat to be stored under your tissue and decelerates lean muscle growth. I know I know “I don’t jack off I have girlfriend” yeah so do I but lets be honest and just do what I say okay? Haha.

Step 5. Drugs. Sorry this should have been step 1 but obviously if ur going to get JACKED u will need drugs. I mean have you seen those skinny guys ‘natural bodybuilding’? Do you want to look like a POW? No you want to be JACKED so do the right thing and stick sum needles in ur butt.

Things you will need: low self-esteem, high testosterone, lots and lots of chickens.