Apple Fanboys Defend the iHammer 3

Ten years from now, Apple Inc has diversified into everything from automobiles to iron ore extraction, from accounting services to professional wrestling. The latest product in the Apple range is the iHammer 3, a claw hammer of such exquisite design and craftsmanship that the base model retails for $1599.

Unfortunately, some users are finding the transition less than seamless, and have taken to online forums in search of answers.

I recently purchased an iHammer 3, after generally positive experiences with the iHammer 2. Unfortunately, the new claw design makes it impossible to remove all but the fattest of nails. To clarify, my iHammer has no problems driving nails into wood, but it can’t remove them (unless they are extremely thick). Is Apple planning to fix this any time soon, and if not, what’s the process for getting a refund?
Hammers are designed to knock nails in, not pull them out. Why would you want to remove nails anyway? The whole point of a nail is that it stays put.
+227 votes    This is the correct answer
Hi Wexler, and thanks for the response. I’m aware that hammers drive nails, but claw hammers (of which the iHammer 3 is an example) also serve a dual purpose of removing nails. Sometimes you hit a nail wrong, for example, and it buckles. Those nails have to be removed. The claw of the iHammer 2 worked just fine for this purpose (as did the claw of every single claw hammer I’ve ever owned). But the iHammer 3 is not working.
–15 votes
Bob, you purchased a hammer. A hammer. Let that sink in for a moment.
You even say yourself, that sometimes YOU hit a nail wrong, and it buckles. Are you trying to blame Apple for your own mistakes? They can’t be responsible for user error.
+523 votes    This is the correct answer
I had a similar problem reset my network settings in iTunes and is worked fine ever since. GO APPLE!
I’m not blaming Apple for my hammer craft. All I’m saying is that a claw hammer should be able to remove nails. Again, this worked with iHammer 2. If you’re saying that Apple has no plans to make the iHammer 3 function as a hammer, then I have no choice but to send it back.
– 67 votes
Wexler says Bob, I understand that you may have been able to use your iHammer 2 for unauthorised purposes, but this would be because you were exploiting a bug in the original design. iHammers have never officially had the ability to remove nails, and to my knowledge no hammer allows this (are you sure you were using a hammer on previous occasions?).
You seem to think that every Apple product has to fulfill every conceivable need of every potential customer! Do you expect your iCar to cook your dinner? Do you expect your iTV to brush your hair? What about your iSocks, should they book your summer vacation on your behalf? I hope you can see the flaw in what you’re asking. Not even Apple could design such a product!
Good luck sending it back, you got exactly what you paid for and it works perfectly.
PS jobs4eva, this is a consumer tech support forum. Your solution sounds like it will work, but NO ONE should alter their iTunes settings unless they know EXACTLY what they are doing (i.e., Apple Genius!) It is a complex system that most people are NOT equipped to change. The default settings are there for a REASON.
+981 votes    This is the correct answer

In the days that followed, Bob returned his iHammer 3 and vowed never to stray near an Apple support forum again. Wexler continued to provide inaccurate advice. Apple’s legal team updated the iTunes terms and conditions.

Twelve months later, Apple released the game-changing iHammer 4, which boasted the ability to not only drive nails in, but to pull them out as well. Apple fanboys (Wexler included) lost their collective shit over this new dawn in crossover multipurpose devices.