Which of these animals would win a hypothetical fight to the death?

  1. Great White Shark vs Saltwater Crocodile?
  2. Great White Shark

    Great White Shark

    Great White Shark

    Saltwater Crocodile

    Saltwater Crocodile

    Saltwater Crocodile

    Great White Sharks do not exhibit territorial behaviour on land, which is where this fight takes place.

  3. Hippopotamus vs White Rhino?
  4. Hippopotamus

    Hippopotamus

    Hippopotamus

    White Rhino

    White Rhino

    White Rhino

    As the most environmentally conscious member of the animal kingdom, the Hippopotamus would forfeit to (and be gored by) the White Rhino for conservation purposes.

  5. Cat vs Mouse?
  6. Cat

    Cat

    Cat

    Mouse

    Mouse

    Mouse

    The cat is the mouse’s natural predator. It has every advantage in this battle, and will surely triumph, but kudos to the mouse for giving it a shot.

  7. 30 German Shepherds vs 30 Doberman Pinschers?
  8. 30 German Shepherds

    30 German Shepherds

    30 German Shepherds

    30 Doberman Pinschers

    30 Doberman Pinschers

    30 Doberman Pinschers

    30 Doberman Pinschers will win the fight. However, in this contest, it is the sport of hypothetical animal fighting that is the real winner.

  9. Elephant vs 100 ducks?
  10. Elephant

    Elephant

    Elephant

    100 ducks

    100 ducks

    100 ducks

    Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It’s beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all stick together. Ducks never say die. Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid. They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock. I’m proud to be a Duck, and I’d be proud to fly with any one of you. So how about it? Who’s a Duck?

  11. Extroverted blue whale vs introverted blue whale?
  12. Extroverted blue whale

    Extroverted blue whale

    Extroverted blue whale

    Introverted blue whale

    Introverted blue whale

    Introverted blue whale

    See Tolea et al (2012), which found using data from the Baltimore Longitudinal Study of Aging (N = 1220) the extroversion domain and its facets of warmth, activity and positive-emotions were positively correlated with strength, independent of covariates. This applies equally to blue whales.

  13. Bill Paxton vs Bill Pullman?
  14. Bill Paxton

    Bill Paxton

    Bill Paxton

    Bill Pullman

    Bill Pullman

    Bill Pullman

    Unsure. It’s not clear which one of these guys is which.

  15. 1 lion, 2 lionesses and an owl vs 2 honey badgers, 2 chimpanzees and a young meerkat?
  16. 1 lion, 2 lionesses and an owl

    1 lion, 2 lionesses and an owl

    1 lion, 2 lionesses and an owl

    2 honey badgers, 2 chimpanzees and a young meerkat

    2 honey badgers, 2 chimpanzees and a young meerkat

    2 honey badgers, 2 chimpanzees and a young meerkat

    The chimpanzees, with their superior intellect, formulate a plan. “If we work together,” the lead chimp says, “we can win this.” But the impulsive honey badgers give him the finger and charge the lion recklessly. Predictably, they are picked off by the lionesses. The chimpanzees sigh and choose to adopt a defensive position in a tree, daring the lions to come to them. But it is futile. Circling the skies above, the owl hoots valuable intelligence to the mighty feline hunters, and the chimpanzees are pulled from the branches easily. The meerkat then concedes defeat by having a heart attack.

  17. Every human in the world vs every bird in the world?
  18. Every human in the world

    Every human in the world

    Every human in the world

    Every bird in the world

    Every bird in the world

    Every bird in the world

    There are approximately 100 billion birds in the world, versus approximately 7.3 billion humans. However, there are 285 million humans with visual impairments, 632 million humans aged 4 and under, and 16 million aged 90 or over (a total of 933 million), so in this fight the humans effectively number 6.3 billion. The birds’ great advantages are speed, numbers and flight. The humans have size (in most cases), strength and technology on their side, but many of our most advanced weapons are either surprisingly vulnerable to bird attack (eg. jet aircraft) or not designed to fight flying creatures (eg. nunchaku). At first, the humans would be stunned by the birds’ sudden willingness to fight. Anyone caught outside would likely be struck down, their brains pecked out through their unprotected eye sockets. The rest would hole up inside a safe structure, likely terrified. It is the Americans who would ultimately save humanity, with their ready access to firearms and large supply of tinned goods. They will lead the humans to victory, as well as resolving the gun control debate once and for all. Humanity! America!

Show me my results!

You don't know much about animal fighting. You probably don't even know if a human could beat an ant. In fact, don't even answer that, because you're bound to get it wrong and embarrass yourself.

You know a little bit about animal fighting, but if you went to an underground cockfight you'd probably bet on a passing sparrow. Neat!

You know a fair bit about animal fighting, but no so much that it's suspicious. Well done!

You know too much about animal fighting. Your IP address has been forwarded to the RSPCA. Cool!