How to Eat 15 Hot Dogs

Do you want to know how to eat 15 hot dogs? This is something I did one time and I’m great at explaining how I did it, so I’m definitely the one to ask.

Step 1: The night before I ate 15 hot dogs I got wasted with my gym buddies. My muscular build makes it hard to get drunk but I did it anyway. I don’t know if getting wasted helped me eat 15 hot dogs, but it sure as hell didn’t stop me. We drank boilermakers and everyone in the bar was cheering us on, like ‘Wooo!’

Step 2: Then we went to Jet’s place to crash and I told him the story about the time I got laid by pretending to be Ben Affleck. I didn’t, like, tell this chick I was Ben Affleck or anything, I just pretended inside my head that I was him and it worked. I know this doesn’t seem totally on point but it gives you context.

Step 3: The good thing about me - or one of the good things - is that I don’t ever get hungover. I don’t know why, I just never have. I think it’s maybe because I have mental control over my abs that stops nausea. This wasn’t going to be its own step, but yeah, it’s a step now because my stomach is like a steel trap, or whatever, so Step 3 is work on getting mental control specifically over your abs.

Step 4: I wasn’t hungover so I said we should go to the park for more beers. It was about one o’clock and Jet said, ‘I could really go a hot dog.’ So I said, ‘I could go 15 hot dogs.’ And I committed in that moment to doing exactly that. The moral of Step 4 is make a commitment because people will question why you’re eating so much of a food that isn’t that tasty and you’ll need to have a rock-solid answer like, “I made a commitment.”

Step 5: Then I ate all 15 hot dogs at the park. Jet only had 3 and he said he was even full after that, so you can imagine how much 15 hot dogs is. There was a few chicks there having drinks too and they watched me eat all of the hot dogs. One of them was a psycho and I ended up having to get like a restraining order against her, but it’s not called a restraining order it’s something else. Oh, it’ll be really hard to eat the hot dogs so Step 5 is try your best or something.

Things you’ll need: 15 hot dogs, mental ab control.