How to Win at Life

Everybody wants to win life. But it’s not easy, as life can only have one winner. We’ve put together a handy strategy guide to make sure that winner is you!

Step 1: Buy every property you visit. You won’t always get another chance to buy a particular property when you return there later in life. Whether you buy railway stations, power plants, and water treatment facilities is a question of taste.

Step 2: Try to acquire properties that are the same colour. Orange properties are a particularly good investment. If you can buy every orange property, you have a great chance of winning life.

Step 3: As soon as you can, start building houses. You want three houses on each property you own, so others have to pay you life-winning amounts of rent.

Step 4: Jail isn’t always bad! Early in life, you don’t have time to be in jail, but later on it can be a cheap place to stay.

Step 5: Getting elected chairman of the board may sound like a life-winning move, but it will actually cost you money. For a hobby with a modest financial return, enter beauty contests.

Step 6: Finish off struggling players. Life has a reputation for dragging on, and if you get to a point where you’re just wandering around trading money, it can get pretty boring. Persuade poorer players to forfeit their life when they have no hope of winning.

If you follow all these steps, and the dice rolls go your way, you should win at life.