Steven Seagal’s movies are known for their realistic portrayal of naval chefs, their snappy post-mortem quips, and their rich, layered treatment of supporting female characters. Like most cinema goers, you’ve probably argued with your friends at dinner parties about which supporting female character in a Steven Seagal movie you are. It’s time to settle those debates, the only way the Internet knows: with a multiple choice quiz.
- In life, what is your greatest asset?
- If you’re in a jam, what’s the first thing you do?
- What sort of hair do you have?
- What is your main goal in life?
- How would you react upon meeting a hard-nosed Steven Seagal-type with a complicated past and an interest in New Age spirituality?
- A climactic battle! The fate of the world or a ship or something is on the line! What do you do to help?
My looks
My looks
My looks
My appearance
My appearance
My appearance
My beauty
My beauty
My beauty
My looks and appearance
My looks and appearance
My looks and appearance
Scream for help
Scream for help
Scream for help
Yell for help
Yell for help
Yell for help
Call shriekily for help
Call shriekily for help
Call shriekily for help
Cry out for assistance
Cry out for assistance
Cry out for assistance
Huge
Huge
Huge
Enormous
Enormous
Enormous
Large and fluffy
Large and fluffy
Large and fluffy
Big hair
Big hair
Big hair
To prove myself
To prove myself
To prove myself
To demonstrate my capacity
To demonstrate my capacity
To demonstrate my capacity
To show the world I’ve got what it takes
To show the world I’ve got what it takes
To show the world I’ve got what it takes
Depends on Steven Seagal’s main goal
Depends on Steven Seagal’s main goal
Depends on Steven Seagal’s main goal
At first I’d be cold, but I would gradually open up when I saw he had my best interests at heart
At first I’d be cold, but I would gradually open up when I saw he had my best interests at heart
At first I’d be cold, but I would gradually open up when I saw he had my best interests at heart
I would be reserved, perhaps even cold, but eventually I would feel safe with him and open up
I would be reserved, perhaps even cold, but eventually I would feel safe with him and open up
I would be reserved, perhaps even cold, but eventually I would feel safe with him and open up
Initially, I would not be warm, but I would become warmer once I understood his kind intentions
Initially, I would not be warm, but I would become warmer once I understood his kind intentions
Initially, I would not be warm, but I would become warmer once I understood his kind intentions
In the beginning I would be aloof, perhaps even cold, but over time, once I saw his basic goodness, I would warm to him
In the beginning I would be aloof, perhaps even cold, but over time, once I saw his basic goodness, I would warm to him
In the beginning I would be aloof, perhaps even cold, but over time, once I saw his basic goodness, I would warm to him
Take off some of my clothes
Take off some of my clothes
Take off some of my clothes
Remove an item of clothing
Remove an item of clothing
Remove an item of clothing
Take off my jacket or some other clothing
Take off my jacket or some other clothing
Take off my jacket or some other clothing
Wear clothing, obviously, but less clothing than before
Wear clothing, obviously, but less clothing than before
Wear clothing, obviously, but less clothing than before
Generic Female Supporting Character
You are generic female supporting character in a Steven Seagal movie. You’re pretty and your hair is quite big but otherwise you are not very useful. Your character arc is completed when you kill or knock out a secondary villain toward the end of the story. Awesome!
