Which Supporting Female Character in a Steven Seagal Movie Are You?

Steven Seagal’s movies are known for their realistic portrayal of naval chefs, their snappy post-mortem quips, and their rich, layered treatment of supporting female characters. Like most cinema goers, you’ve probably argued with your friends at dinner parties about which supporting female character in a Steven Seagal movie you are. It’s time to settle those debates, the only way the Internet knows: with a multiple choice quiz.

  1. In life, what is your greatest asset?
  2. My looks

    My looks

    My looks

    My appearance

    My appearance

    My appearance

    My beauty

    My beauty

    My beauty

    My looks and appearance

    My looks and appearance

    My looks and appearance

  3. If you’re in a jam, what’s the first thing you do?
  4. Scream for help

    Scream for help

    Scream for help

    Yell for help

    Yell for help

    Yell for help

    Call shriekily for help

    Call shriekily for help

    Call shriekily for help

    Cry out for assistance

    Cry out for assistance

    Cry out for assistance

  5. What sort of hair do you have?
  6. Huge

    Huge

    Huge

    Enormous

    Enormous

    Enormous

    Large and fluffy

    Large and fluffy

    Large and fluffy

    Big hair

    Big hair

    Big hair

  7. What is your main goal in life?
  8. To prove myself

    To prove myself

    To prove myself

    To demonstrate my capacity

    To demonstrate my capacity

    To demonstrate my capacity

    To show the world I’ve got what it takes

    To show the world I’ve got what it takes

    To show the world I’ve got what it takes

    Depends on Steven Seagal’s main goal

    Depends on Steven Seagal’s main goal

    Depends on Steven Seagal’s main goal

  9. How would you react upon meeting a hard-nosed Steven Seagal-type with a complicated past and an interest in New Age spirituality?
  10. At first I’d be cold, but I would gradually open up when I saw he had my best interests at heart

    At first I’d be cold, but I would gradually open up when I saw he had my best interests at heart

    At first I’d be cold, but I would gradually open up when I saw he had my best interests at heart

    I would be reserved, perhaps even cold, but eventually I would feel safe with him and open up

    I would be reserved, perhaps even cold, but eventually I would feel safe with him and open up

    I would be reserved, perhaps even cold, but eventually I would feel safe with him and open up

    Initially, I would not be warm, but I would become warmer once I understood his kind intentions

    Initially, I would not be warm, but I would become warmer once I understood his kind intentions

    Initially, I would not be warm, but I would become warmer once I understood his kind intentions

    In the beginning I would be aloof, perhaps even cold, but over time, once I saw his basic goodness, I would warm to him

    In the beginning I would be aloof, perhaps even cold, but over time, once I saw his basic goodness, I would warm to him

    In the beginning I would be aloof, perhaps even cold, but over time, once I saw his basic goodness, I would warm to him

  11. A climactic battle! The fate of the world or a ship or something is on the line! What do you do to help?
  12. Take off some of my clothes

    Take off some of my clothes

    Take off some of my clothes

    Remove an item of clothing

    Remove an item of clothing

    Remove an item of clothing

    Take off my jacket or some other clothing

    Take off my jacket or some other clothing

    Take off my jacket or some other clothing

    Wear clothing, obviously, but less clothing than before

    Wear clothing, obviously, but less clothing than before

    Wear clothing, obviously, but less clothing than before

Get my result

Generic Female Supporting Character

You are generic female supporting character in a Steven Seagal movie. You’re pretty and your hair is quite big but otherwise you are not very useful. Your character arc is completed when you kill or knock out a secondary villain toward the end of the story. Awesome!

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